Is it really that comfy in there?

I mean seriously, is it really that comfy in there?

I am 6 days overdue and feeling a little low today. Mainly because I do NOT want to get induced but hey if it happens it happens, right?

I have been bouncing on my birthing ball all morning... It has got to the point where it's actually losing it's shape. The ball is no longer as round as it used to be and is almost starting to look more like an egg than a ball! Am I really that huge? Or maybe it's down to the fact that technically it isn't a "birthing ball" but infact a cheap gym ball I picked up from Argos for £5... Bargain, I know!

I've tried fresh pineapple which is supposed to bring on labour (so they say) but it's left my tongue in so much pain! Then again I did go a little bit over the top and ended up eating way more than I should have. I had no idea pineapples could be so vicious! It literally ripped my tongue to pieces (tad exaggeration). I didn't know they had so much acid in them.

So many people have told me different things I can do to bring on labour such as eating hot curry, doing lots of walking, getting down on all fours and scrubbing the floor etc etc etc... But I know deep down that this baby isn't going anywhere until he is ready, so when Allah wills for my little jelly bean to come he'll come inshaAllah. I guess I have fallen under the pressure a little and because of my impatience actually tried a hot curry and doing a lot of walking, though the curry was scrumptious and the walking had to have done me some good!

I have an appointment today at the hospital, they are going to attempt to give me a membrane sweep again. Unfortunately they couldn't give me a sweep the last time I went in because my cervix was tightly shut and too high up, I was so disappointed. I very much doubt there will be any changes today but I'm making lots of dua that there just might be!

My fear of getting induced is getting out of hand now. I just have to keep reminding myself that Allah azza wajjal will not put me through something I cannot handle. I've heard such scary stories about other women getting induced - apparently the labour is a lot more intense and a lot more painful! Well that would be my birth plan out of the window! I planned on having no pain relief at all except maybe some gas and air. This is my first baby so I have no idea what to expect but after reading about the epidural and the risks etc it was instantly a no go zone for me.

I'm not really looking forward to this appointment to be honest... The midwife will perform an internal examination and that is just a posh word for "poking around where you shouldn't" to me. It is one of the most uncomfortable things I've gone through in my life... I bet you're thinking "well you just wait for the birth, eh".

Unfortunately some midwives do not take into consideration the size of their hands and how rough they can be! At least I know that if I do end up taking the course in Midwifery I've been thinking about taking I wont be as horrible as them as I know what it feels like.

I'm starting to feel a little hungry now so I think it's time to head off into the kitchen and see what I can cook up. It may have to be a microwave job though, because using the oven means I will have to bend over to open the oven door and that is SO not going to happen right now with the back ache I've been experiencing these past 9 months!

Hopefully my appointment goes well Insha'Allah and I have a nice midwife that can at least put my mind at ease.

Ma'salaama! x