It's been a while!

So... 8 months later and I'm back!

My intention was to stick to writing something at least a few times a week but hey ho, better late than never, right?

I must say though, reading back on what I wrote really put a smile on my face :) My little man is now 7 months old maa shaa Allah and a healthy little bunny.

My labour... Well lets just say it didn't quite go as expected! It's been quite a few months now but my "baby brain" should be gone now and my memory should be back to it's usual shape (not that it's always been in the best of shape but, you know.) I was due to be induced after being 11 days overdue (I know right, 11 days!), my labour was 35 hours long, no pain relief until the last 3 hours when I had a few puffs of gas and air and finally after the long wait my world, my cheeky little monkey, my stunning little man arrived. It was honestly the best day of my life... I would do it 1000 times over.

Wohoo! I can finally say what all the other mothers would say after giving birth haha. Before having Hamza, I never understood why a woman would have no problem what so ever with pushing something bigger than a tennis ball out of her... But now I totally 100% understand.

So a lot has changed since my last blog entry. My little man seems to think he can walk at only 7 months. I'm officially a single mama at the age of 19. I've moved into a snug new home, and I've been tested this year like no other year before.

I've finally come to the realisation that a man will not stay with you forever and infact Allah (God) will. People change, and now I'm a mama I really don't have the time to wait around and see the outcome of these changes. All I want is the best for my son and the best for myself. I no longer bother or care too much about this dunya (world) unless it will benefit me in the akhira.

I didn't realise it would be so difficult being a single mama but Allah doesn't burden a soul with more than it can bear, so when I feel I'm about ready to break Hamza will flash me a little smile. Come on, how can you resist a cheeky smile like his, especially as he has no teeth!

I'd like to get back to writing some more blog entries as I have to admit it feels great to put everything to paper (well to laptop). Whether people read it or not, it's great to look back on and have a little giggle. I'm off to read some other blogs now then hit the sheets with little man. - Yes, I co-sleep and can't get enough of it!

G'night for now <3
May Allah bless me and my little boy with another day <3

Is it really that comfy in there?

I mean seriously, is it really that comfy in there?

I am 6 days overdue and feeling a little low today. Mainly because I do NOT want to get induced but hey if it happens it happens, right?

I have been bouncing on my birthing ball all morning... It has got to the point where it's actually losing it's shape. The ball is no longer as round as it used to be and is almost starting to look more like an egg than a ball! Am I really that huge? Or maybe it's down to the fact that technically it isn't a "birthing ball" but infact a cheap gym ball I picked up from Argos for £5... Bargain, I know!

I've tried fresh pineapple which is supposed to bring on labour (so they say) but it's left my tongue in so much pain! Then again I did go a little bit over the top and ended up eating way more than I should have. I had no idea pineapples could be so vicious! It literally ripped my tongue to pieces (tad exaggeration). I didn't know they had so much acid in them.

So many people have told me different things I can do to bring on labour such as eating hot curry, doing lots of walking, getting down on all fours and scrubbing the floor etc etc etc... But I know deep down that this baby isn't going anywhere until he is ready, so when Allah wills for my little jelly bean to come he'll come inshaAllah. I guess I have fallen under the pressure a little and because of my impatience actually tried a hot curry and doing a lot of walking, though the curry was scrumptious and the walking had to have done me some good!

I have an appointment today at the hospital, they are going to attempt to give me a membrane sweep again. Unfortunately they couldn't give me a sweep the last time I went in because my cervix was tightly shut and too high up, I was so disappointed. I very much doubt there will be any changes today but I'm making lots of dua that there just might be!

My fear of getting induced is getting out of hand now. I just have to keep reminding myself that Allah azza wajjal will not put me through something I cannot handle. I've heard such scary stories about other women getting induced - apparently the labour is a lot more intense and a lot more painful! Well that would be my birth plan out of the window! I planned on having no pain relief at all except maybe some gas and air. This is my first baby so I have no idea what to expect but after reading about the epidural and the risks etc it was instantly a no go zone for me.

I'm not really looking forward to this appointment to be honest... The midwife will perform an internal examination and that is just a posh word for "poking around where you shouldn't" to me. It is one of the most uncomfortable things I've gone through in my life... I bet you're thinking "well you just wait for the birth, eh".

Unfortunately some midwives do not take into consideration the size of their hands and how rough they can be! At least I know that if I do end up taking the course in Midwifery I've been thinking about taking I wont be as horrible as them as I know what it feels like.

I'm starting to feel a little hungry now so I think it's time to head off into the kitchen and see what I can cook up. It may have to be a microwave job though, because using the oven means I will have to bend over to open the oven door and that is SO not going to happen right now with the back ache I've been experiencing these past 9 months!

Hopefully my appointment goes well Insha'Allah and I have a nice midwife that can at least put my mind at ease.

Ma'salaama! x

Number one!

Drum roll please....

So this is blog entry number one! Here we go...

My intention was to type something up a little earlier on in the day but unfortunately I set foot in the kitchen and well lets just say it took a while for me to find my way out!

You're probably wondering what I mean by that. Well I am currently 40 weeks pregnant and 6 days, for all the ladies out there that have previously been pregnant and all the math geeks (sadly I'm not one of them) you should have figured that I am officially 6 days overdue. My little bundle of joy seems to be a little too comfortable in Mummy's tummy.

In these last stages of pregnancy I feel like an elephant, look like an elephant and most certainly eat like an elephant... Mind you, I don't actually know what an elephants diet consists of, though I'm sure it doesn't consist of chips, chocolate, crisps and fizzy drinks! But you get the idea... Throughout most of my pregnancy my main cravings have been junk food. I did develop a craving that nobody seems to have heard of before. It is quite embarrassing but nothing compared to eating toilet paper or chalk (now that is just nasty) this weird but wonderful craving I developed was having the urge... And when I say urge I mean URGE to inhale the beautiful fumes of my vacuum *sigh* oh, the thought of it almost makes my mouth water. I have no idea what I can compare the smell to. It's almost like a stuffy smell, sort of like heat and dust mixed together... Great, I've made things worse for myself now because the sound of heat and dust mixed together doesn't at all seem as scrumptious as I'm making out. I use my vacuum at least 3 times a day, and if I'm feeling naughty I'll just turn it on and sit there inhaling the lovely fumes... Sad, I know. Unfortunately being so far gone in pregnancy I have plenty of time on my hands so I'm able to do freaky things like that. :)


It is currently 1 o.clock in the morning and I'm sitting in bed with the laptop wedged between my huge bump and my pillow falling asleep as I type. I would love to say it has been a long day but if I'm honest it hasn't. I've been indoors all day cleaning and eating haha but when you're as pregnant as I am everyday is a long day no matter what you're doing!

I was intending on writing so much more but if my eyes shut one more time I may just fall asleep at my laptop and I really don't need the back ache of being slouched over (I sound like such an old lady!) So I am going to have to call it a night. I'm slightly disappointed at how boring this post is but hey at least I wrote about something.

Off to bed I go. May Allah allow me to see another day Insha'Allah.

Asalaamu alaykum warahmatullah.